So I just found a rather humorous writer I think many of my friends would enjoy. His name is Jason Peters. Here’s one article of his that set me off laughing in the office, but I think his others will also amuse you if you feel like clicking around. A few notable excerpts:
If there’s one thing I hate it’s Miller Lite—and also a loose turtle-neck on a shapely girl. But that’s two things, and neither has anything to do with the promiscuous use of “community,” which is a third contemptible thing.
A “community” of scholars in one place would soon crumble, because scholars are odious egomaniacs who can’t get along with one another.
My own street, for example, which is a slow serpentine dead end, is inhabited by people who have never seen it except through the windows of their cars. I sometimes see these people in other places, and I usually wave to them or say hello. They look at me as if a sapling aglow with acid rain has sprouted from my left nostril. They’ve never seen me before.
Almost every morning on my walk into campus I see people idling in their horseless carriages, eating dripping globs of Occlusion McAngioplast from standard-issue paper wrappers. This is what we call the American Dining Experience: fat people in their minivans eating corn-fed beef and communing with AM talk radio (which has turned the GOP base into a confederacy of half-wits). Onan would approve, but this, O best beloved, is bad for community.
…kissing, we know, leads to other things, like getting caught.
I wish I could write such amusing, yet serious, stuff. I think the only funny I will ever be is looking. (No, that’s not a cue for you all to start lying to me.)
Image by Safedom.